Why is it difficult for us to change

People think that they still have a lot of time left – there is such a sin behind everyone. Find a good job, start playing sports or study foreign languages, propose to a girl, hug parents – everything will be in time. Not really. And we begin to move when trouble comes – the beloved will leave, they will be fired from work. It's like an adrenaline rush, but you can get by with small sacrifices – it was enough to pull yourself together in time and start changing.

We will tell you how to change your life for the better, and why it is so difficult.

Who does nothing – knowingly lost

Why change if you can continue to live without doing anything

Many are unhappy with their lives. We often hear from different people: “low salary”, “a lot of work”, “little time”, “no energy.” Nobody argues that, most likely, all this is so. We say that these are negative moments that have a destructive effect on the worldview, self-esteem and health. At the same time, people only complain, but do not try to fix the situation. And most of those who try give up very quickly.

If you are one of those people, you know that in the case of 'just get up and do' there are always more excuses than arguments. Indeed, why change something if the philosophy 'born – lived – bred – died' is so attractive in its simplicity, and in order to live like this, you can do nothing at all. We have something to answer.

Routine fatigue escalates into life fatigue

The fact is that a tired and sleepy mind most often comes to this philosophy. Think back to yourself at the age of 15-18. Burning eyes, uncompromising, reinforced concrete self-confidence, self and opinion, willingness to move mountains. In the process of growing up and overcoming the vicissitudes of life, hopes for a wonderful future collapse, and the former stars of school and student years turn into fat, balding and aging men, alien to romance, ideals, freedom to think and live as they want.

So why change? Then, that this aging, fat and bald man inside you is exactly the one who does not let go, makes you doubt your capabilities, holds back your potential, slyly whispers in your ear 'put off until tomorrow / let's start from Monday'. He will kill you, although your soulless body with dead eyes after that will spoil this world for a long time.

Signals indicating that it is time to change something

To understand when to start changing, you need to carefully monitor yourself – perhaps life already gives you clues, but you do not notice them.

Do not have time to regain strength

If your places of power no longer give you strength, you need to change something

Sleep does not help, moments of rest and life are too short for oneself. And places of power … Everyone has something of their own, which allows you to recover. Someone has a park, someone has a garage, a place from which a wonderful view opens or in which the key moments of your life have passed, a favorite chair … These vents also no longer work.

This means that you have reached the extreme point. The last bastion fell, and then … nothing. Another day in the format 'low salary', 'a lot of work', 'little time', 'no energy'. And behind him is the same. And further. And further.

Degrade so much that you yourself notice it

It is not easy to notice your own degradation, and if you did, then the situation is critical. This is not about the absence of reading, travel and the gym in life. It's about dealing with yourself. If you notice that you often began to do things that are not typical for you, you compromise on words or principles for the sake of momentary convenience, then you are on the brink.

You don't care

As a child, would you be proud of the person you grew up with?

It is necessary to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy indifference. Healthy – when you live for your pleasure, not adjusting to anyone and hammering into the stuffy advice of those who are not able to help themselves. Unhealthy – when you forget about important things and important people. This does not bring relief, only the need to tensely balance between 'do' and 'do not want'

And someday you will break loose. There are no exceptions here.

You have launched your appearance

This is due to the points already described above – degradation, multiplied by unhealthy indifference. Once again, healthy is when you neglect others. Unhealthy – when you score on yourself. Healthy niggas can wear an old sweater, runny beard, and stretched jeans, and still be happy and in demand. Whether they are challenging society, or whether they are so comfortable – it does not matter.

The unhealthy people themselves understand that they look disgusting, and there is no challenge or comfort behind this. It's just that they are so disgusted with their life that they are no longer even indifferent, but simply all the same.

You live as if in a fog or half asleep

I can't concentrate on work, business, interlocutor. You cannot keep in mind the paragraph you just read; you have to look at your watch several times to figure out what time it is. Instead of action, you will procastinate, mindlessly scrolling page after page on the Internet, staring blankly at one point.

This is a property of an overworked brain that is no longer helped by vacation or weekend. In this way, the brain is protected from the exhausting, depressing, unnatural routine.

You make excuses for your bad habits

Bad habits – slow and deliberate suicide

No healthy person will find an excuse for a situation where more money is spent on alcohol, cigarettes, gambling and subscriptions to porn services than on food. There is no variety in life, so people look for it in bad habits, thinking that they can stop at any moment.

But how justified are emotions from self-destruction? In most cases, this is a deliberate, slow suicide. And can a person stop even if he wants to? As always, there will be more excuses than arguments.

You are annoyed by someone else's success

People often try to write off someone else's success at the expense of luck, powerful relatives, and cunning nature. It is important to understand here that the point is not in the dubious qualities of a successful person, but in envy caused by the realization of one's own weakness. People understand that in such a state, with a similar way of life, they will never achieve something like that.

What prevents you from just taking and changing

Everyone has problems. You are not the only one with a small salary and relationship problems. Don't confuse cause and effect, and don't self-deceive. It is not external factors that interfere with changing your life, but internal ones.

Laziness

Laziness is inherent in everyone, but some overcome, while others obey

Laziness is inherent in all people. Some learn to overcome it, while others obey. In the latter, laziness suppresses creativity and energy, taking away motivation, focusing on false comfort, instilling false thoughts 'oh, then I'll do it.'

False, abstract goals

And the fact is that 'I want to be rich' or 'I want to be happy' is not a goal, but an abstract wishlist. Everyone wants it, but only a few succeed. Why? Because, unlike most, these units set specific goals for themselves, achieve them, then set new ones. As a result, along the way, they get what they wanted. Do you want money? So, the goals on this path will be getting an education, acquiring a profession, increasing competencies, promising or interesting work, promotion, own business …

On the other hand, false and abstract goals do not give an understanding of what to do next. And the person continues to procast.

Fear of mistakes and uncertainty

Everyone is afraid of the unknown, because everything happens for the first time.

Everyone is afraid of the unknown. This is as true as the fact that everything happens for the first time. Everyone is wrong. And those are mistaken who justify their passivity by fear of making mistakes. Retreating after the first failure is a weakness inherent in infantile boys living on sponsor money, but not in men.

Weakness of character and fear of collisions

To defend a place in the modern world for himself and his family, a man needs to be tougher than Chuck Norris, more impudent than officials, more impudent than security officials, more cunning than usurers, stronger than gopniks and more ambitious provincial women who are going to 'conquer' Moscow. This is true, and there is no getting away from it. The strongest survive. This is a minus of our world.

And the plus is that even a homeless person living in a cardboard box in the gateway of Ust-Olginsk in the modern world can radically change his life or try his luck in immigration. But only the one who does it will achieve success. Those who do nothing are known to have lost.

And the fear of disapproval of parents, girlfriend, wife and friends, we examined in detail in the article 'What is the danger of being good for everyone?'.

How to change for the better – small business theory

The best strategy is not to go to extremes, but to live so that changes come naturally. To develop gradually, but continuously and inevitably. By doing something every day, albeit a little bit, you will sooner or later reach your goal, no matter how difficult and high it may be. And on this path the following life principles will help.

Don't burn bridges

If all the bridges are burned, there's nowhere to retreat

This is sometimes necessary. At first he joked about politics in Russia, then he became a seller of a gas station somewhere in the vastness of Texas. We all understand. But an ordinary guy from Ust-Olginsk, abandoning the past, deprives himself of support in life. And in the case of a difficult life situation, he will have nowhere to retreat.

Don't be fake

Every person is unique. This is not pathos, it is a fact. Personality, unique original with his own personal style of behavior, attitude and opinion. One BUT – all this is true if a person has not chosen the path of a social copy, mimicking a humble cog in the mechanism of society.

Yes, society imposes its own rules, and it will be somewhat easier for those who bend under it in life. But everyone must decide for himself who and how to achieve success – a man true to his word, beliefs and family, or a copy of another copy.

Value your time and learn to refuse

In fact, no one has time

Time is the only non-renewable resource in life. You will never find time donated to social networks, uninteresting interlocutors, hated work. And then one morning, as usual, going to the mirror to shave or brush your teeth, you will be horrified to see not a 20-year-old guy who has his whole life ahead, but a 45-year-old man who had so little time.

Therefore, now do not waste your own time on uninteresting things and people, as if you have plenty of it. In fact, no one has it.

Don't put off what you can do now.

A little more time and I will quit. Another glass of whiskey and I'll go home. I’ll gather my courage a little more and go up to that beauty. Such reasoning is a trap. You are supposedly giving yourself a respite for the future, in fact, missing out on opportunities today.

Do it now, because tomorrow it may not be – and you will die as an employee of the hated company, who drank too much that evening and never spoke to that beauty.

Create, set goals and succeed

Yesterday you thought that passing the Unified State Exam and enrolling in a university is a success. Today you will consider a more or less smooth session to be a real success. Success tomorrow – if you find a job outside the catering. The day after tomorrow, a leadership position will be considered a success. The understanding of success in life will be redefined, and that's okay.

Write poetry, play music, draw. Build a home for yourself and your parents. Create a family. Build business and friendships. Be creative. Set goals and achieve them. And never stand still.

Learn from mistakes

Every mistake is not a tragedy, but a lesson

Each failure is a stepping stone towards the goal. There will be no these steps, there will be no upward movement. Indeed, you almost certainly won't succeed the first time. Most likely – you will try several times. But the main thing is to analyze the experience gained, and then take it and do it, adjusted for the mistakes made.

A new attempt does not mean that the previous one turned into a failure, but that this time there is every chance of success.

Just go and do

Bowandtie's editors are confident that life spares no passive people. Everyone can change. The theory of small matters, performed regularly, consciously and systematically, but without fanaticism, will help.

Just go and do it. And you will change. Infa 100%.